Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
