It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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