butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I will die if light touches me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
