Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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