Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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