i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
