My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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