toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
