if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
