One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize