Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I believe in your delicious
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Pants are for mortals
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
