We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
