oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
