I think i sorta joined a cult last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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