so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
