I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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