yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
