Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
God, I missed his penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
