xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the day after is always just damage control
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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