please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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