I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
