I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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