All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
