Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
