I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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