Don't you send me to vm
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
