Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
