I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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