I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
