he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
