Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
