we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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