best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
