Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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