hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
