Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize