I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
