Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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