Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
