if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
