Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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