you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
