I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
