Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
