On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
