I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
