You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
