For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
