the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
