Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
